Panic Attacks and Anxiety - Thank you BC Pill :(

Hi everyone!
I know I don't normally post something in a letter format here but I have gotten so many panic attack and anxiety attack emails lately that I was thinking about doing an online seminar about the subject. It is really hard for me to reply to everyone in a timely manner and at length to give you all that you want and need... So I was thinking with a Live Online session where you can hear me talk and ask questions at the same time - we might be able to make some impact in everyone's recovery!

Plus, it would be available after too for people to look at.

What do you ladies think? Is it something that would be of interest to you? If so leave a comment and I'll come up with a time and date in the near future. The event would be live on facebook.

Hugs and healing to you all.
~Helena

Panic Attacks thanks to the Pill?!

Yes, it is more fact that speculation at this point. There is no doubt in my entire body, mind, and soul that panic attacks are caused by the pill or the detox from them. The many synthetic hormones mixed with chemicals we gladly swallow down every day do cause damage...

...and one of those can be, yup you guessed it; Panic Attacks 

For those of you who have no idea what a panic attack feels like, let me try to explain it... 

All of a sudden, from seemingly nowhere, you start to feel nervous like something is wrong. Your internal senses are on high alert. Danger Danger Danger! However, your logical brain understands that nothing is wrong because you were just watching a romantic comedy on TV, or standing in line at the grocery store, or sitting at your desk at work, or taking a walk with the dog... Nothing about the situation you are in is dangerous, nor has it ever been in the past. 

It feels like your surroundings are closing in on you and there is no escape. Your heart starts to beat harder and faster, and your chest might even hurt. You feel like there is not enough oxygen, nor can you take a normal deep breath. You are so afraid... maybe you are dying. Yes, that is what you start to think after a few minutes. This is what dying feels like you tell yourself... It is time to die...  

Then, the attack ends. Out of nowhere it seems like. 

If this was your first attack, you hope that it was the only one... However, the more you get the more nervous you are going to be about getting them again. If you frequently get them at the grocery store - there is a pretty good chance you will become afraid of going to the grocery store because your reality of getting panic attacks there are bigger than the reality of how logically safe a grocery store really is. 

Panic attacks create fear and more panic attacks and you truly feel stuck in a place where you don't understand who you are anymore. You have no logical reason to these panic attacks. Yet, you seem to be completely unable to manage them or preventing them to come again.    

So, no matter if you are having panic attacks from side effects of the BC pill or any other medication, or if they are happening to you anyway.. I have decided to do a short live broadcast on how you can take care of yourself in those situations. The broadcast will happen either the end of May or June. To be notified on exactly when and stay updated like my page SunnySoul Coach on facebook, it is free ;) 

Love and support always. 

A BIG reason

There is a reason this blog exist...
It is NOT a good reason.

The reason is because so many women's lives have been ruined, altered and/or effected negatively because of hormonal birth control. The list of side effects are never ending and I myself took a life time decision in 2009 that I would never again take synthetic hormonal birth control ever again. And that decision also lead me to question much of what is being offered in the disguise of "medicine" today. Medicine is not healing, medicine today is concealing....

Support the effort to bring the documentary "Sweetening the Pill" to life!!  

Acne after stopping the pill

About half of the emails that I get address this very one concern "I hear so many that experience acne when they stop, I don't want it to happen to me". The concern is a real one! And so scary that some decide to actually stay on the pill (!). So many DO experience acne when they stop taking the pill... let's look at why this may be happening to so many of us and what we can possibly do to prevent it from happening.

I am no exception. When I stopped I struggled with acne on my face, back, chest and it felt like my scalp had acne too even if I couldn't see it. The spots felt like they were bigger and more red than the acne I had experienced being a teenager and wouldn't really go away with regular acne treatment options, facials, and/or home-made remedies. Acne is fun for no one, but at age 30 I thought that I wouldn't have to ever worry about such a thing again. But apparently age had nothing to do it with it...

The reason regular acne treatment normally does not work in this case is because the underlying reason of them is slightly different. (Remember I am no doctor or health care professional so I could be feeding you crap right now... But then again - I was fed crap by health care professionals so who knows the difference these days - trust your gut!!! ;p)

Ok, back to what I was saying... the acne you get after stopping the pill is different. Why wouldn't it be?! You (yes me too) have been willingly feeding your body chemicals for who knows how long with the perception that it is a fantastic way to prevent you from getting pregnant. The fact that the same dosage is given to everyone is never even discussed and not to dwell on this too long, but just ask yourself: if you were a 125lb petite woman - would you feel it was appropriate that you took the same dosage as a 200lbs woman? Does it even make sense?! No it does not! There is no regulation, no check-ups that tells you to lower or increase your dosage depending on tests and whatnot... (that was just a thought that popped up in my head as I was writing this. It doesn't mean that petite girls experience more symptoms than larger girls - in fact I have nothing to support or deny that thought).

Have you ever heard the expression that your body has three kidneys? (We normally have two - they are located on your back slightly over your waste-line.) Do you know what the third one is?? The largest organ in your body - your skin! Yes! Your skin is considered to be your third kidney. Our kidneys are fantastic and they work really, really hard to keep up with today's horrible eating culture and our exposure to toxins of all sorts on a daily basis.  The kidneys' main task is to filter the blood and remove the toxins (and access fluid) from the body and eliminate it all via urination. Could you imagine going through pill-detox without your kidneys?!!!?? Probably not a good idea... They are your BFFs ;)

So, if the kidneys aid in getting rid of all that crap... why are you then experience acne? Well maybe years of birth control pill toxins is a little too much for the kidneys to handle all at once. You see, when you feed your body stuff it is not naturally meant to "eat" like the pill it will in a way think to itself "hummm... well I don't know what this really is for but she is feeding it to me so it must mean that I will need it sooner or later..." so your body will store excess toxins somewhere, normally in skin and fat tissue. And when you stop feeding your body it, it will be a little surprised to say the least and realize that it want nothing to do with it and that you in fact do NOT need it. So it will do everything it can do clean it all up and away. This is extremely draining for the body and the kidneys. The acne you experience is two-fold - because you have toxins in your skin and fat tissue just waiting to come out, and because your kidneys are overworked and the "third" kidney has to take some of the work load and the body is starting to get rid of the access toxins via the skin too. 

So what can you do? Help your kidneys!!! Do everything you can to help your kidneys clean out. This means:

1. Drink water! This is the number ONE of all detox methods - simple water! The formula to follow is: 1/2 your body weight in oz of water (150lbs = 75oz) or 1/3 of your body weight in dL of water (60kg = 20dL) 
2. Add a pinch of sea salt to every other water bottle this will help out even more!
3. Take EPSOM salt baths at least 2 times a week if at all possible 
4. Drink Apple Cider Vinegar tea or a cleansing citrus drink
5. Eat organic and natural. This allows your body to focus on the detox rather than on digesting and "detoxing" out bad food on top of it. 

Topically you can use apple cider vinegar - but forget all the other anti-acne stuff that is out there, they most often have other toxins in them, and toxins is what got you in this spot in the first place... Baking soda is a good and gentle face scrub and great for pH regulation. But to try to treat acne from the outside should not be your first defense... since that is just the symptom of what is going on inside.

It also needs to be said that the acne should almost be seen as a success (I know I am hanging on a very fine line here...). Success that your body is working! It is doing what it is suppose to do and that is to clean out what it does not need nor want. So, if you can... celebrate a little, tell yourself when you see a new spot in the morning "get that s$#t out" ;) and tell your body thank you and go about your day. It can make the struggle of the acne be a little bit more bearable.

Many also think that acne is because of disturbance of hormone levels, which it off course can be, but the body is way more focused on getting the crap out... so my one and only suggestion is to help your body with the detox before thinking you need to take every blood test there is. Your time is valuable, spend it on things that matters... 


  

Survived bi-lat Pulmonary Embolism and DVT Caused by YAZ

Thank you, for keeping the message board and blog going. By simply being a presence on the internet you keep the dangers of these drugs available for people to see. Woman need to be educated on these drugs and you're helping so many.

I'm in the middle of a YAZ lawsuit and I'd like to share my story in the hope that someone can relate to it and find a little solace knowing they are not alone. Also, my blog has become a place specifically where women can anonymously share information and discuss their experience (and intense frustration) with the YAZ MDL lawsuit and I hope others will find it useful. 

My Story. . .

I had been on hormonal birth control pills for 10+ years and besides the headaches and moodiness that came along with PMS, I never had problems. A few months before my wedding and just after my 31st birthday, I switched to YAZ. At the time I was a healthy, active non-smoker who ran and did yoga nearly every day.

On a Saturday morning in August 2010 I was shopping with a girlfriend and started feeling out of breath. Each time we got back to the car I felt like I'd just run a mile. Work had been stressful lately, so I attributed the tightness in my chest to that. It wasn't until I nearly passed out that I knew something was wrong. My friend took me to the ER where my husband met us. Again, we just thought I was having a stress induced panic attack or it was a pre-cursor to a migraine. It took several hours and a CAT Scan to confirm that both my lungs were filled with marble sized blood clots. I was immediately started on blood thinners and admitted into the MICU. I stayed in the hospital for a week.

A full blood panel concluded that I have no clotting disorders, so the only known cause of the PE (and DVT which they later found) was the YAZ birth control pills I had been on since May 2009.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm alive, although according to my doctors, I shouldn't be. The worst part about having had major blood clots is that they seem to be the gift that keeps on giving. I'm still on blood thinners nearly 4  years later and have been advised to stay on them for life. The fear and anxiety of another episode is always present. I've been to the ER a few times because of similar PE symptoms that turned out to be false alarms – each visit leaves me in tears; it's so frustrating to be held captive by the fear of having another clot. 

Currently, I am part of the YAZ MDL lawsuit. Settlements are being discussed and it doesn't look like any of the lawsuits will actually go to court or that Bayer will be taking YAZ or its sister drugs off the market any time soon. My hope is that the pending lawsuits are enough to convince women to question their use of birth control pills containing Drospirenone. I believe that hormonal contraceptives are a great option for many women, but it's important to educate yourself and make informed decisions, because the risks can be deadly.

Best wishes,
-Mrs.T
Visit Mrs. T's Blog HERE

Editors note: The overall message of the Yasmin and Yaz Survivors Group is to stay away from synthetic hormonal contraceptive due to the many risk that may or may not inflict upon your life but we wanted to leave Mrs. T's own words in this blog post because that is what this is for... to share your own story and thoughts. 

Two Surgeries thanks to Yasmin and the comforting words from my Doc

I went on Yasmin in 2005 and thought I loved it at first...
Then, I started getting headaches all the time, strange paresthesia sensations in my hands. My heart would skip beats, and I eventually started getting stabbing pains every once in a while in my chest. Couldn't handle hot weather in the summer, and actually had heat exhaustion twice.

I Never thought it was my pill.

Then I started to see the commercials about Ocella being bad for you. So I called my doctors office to see if I needed to change pills. They were not concerned and told me the risks are the same for all pills. So I was like okay, I guess I will stay on it...

Well, I just didn't feel right about a year later and just stopped taking my pills. See; what the doctor doesn't tell you is that this pill has a diuretic in it. One that alters your potassium levels. Well, potassium is kind of important for muscle function, nerves , CLOTTING factors, oh yeah and THE POLARIZATION OF THE HEART. So that is probably why my heart was skipping beats and I was having anxiety. So after being on a diuretic without my knowledge for five years, what happens when I abruptly stop?

- My blood pressure went through the roof, and I started having intermittent claudication when I walked. So I went to the Doc to make sure I didn't have a clot, and my blood pressure was 140/104. I usually run 118/68! Hello rebound hypertension! Thanks Yasmin!

All of my problems were caused by electrolyte imbalance due to diuresis. I was pretty much dehydrated for FIVE years. After coming off, my body wanted to keep every bit of fluid that it could. I have also had two surgeries on my reproductive organs in two years. Since Yasmin took my progesterone and threw it out the window, I ended up with uterine polyps that had to be removed. They are caused by an over abundance of estrogen. So girls, avoid soy and its isoflavones!

The reason this pill has a higher clot risk is not rocket science. It's a little something called Virchow's Triad. Dehydration(the diuretic) + clotting disorder(potassium alteration)+ blood vessel injury = DVT. The FDA should know better! Are they trying to kill people? Yasmin gave us ladies 2 out of 3 of the risk factors for clots. Where most pills probably only give you one of the factors. That is a huge difference.

Fast forward two years. Things are better, but still not back to where I was before. It is a long and painful process, and I still get acne from time to time, which I never had before this pill. I am no longer on ACE inhibitors for blood pressure and my body finally started to regulate itself again. I don't eat anything processed, and I had to learn to be patient. I just wish I had known what was really in this pill before my Doc gave it to me. Had I known about the diuretic I would have said no way! Good luck to all the ladies out there just now quitting this pill. You are not alone! I only was able to put all the pieces together once I started school for nursing.

I am now an angry girl that hopes she can still have kids one day. We'll see...

~Anonymous

On Yasmin 4 years 

My sister asked me what birth control pill I was on

My name is Maria and I am from Romania. Thank you so much for having the initiative to create this blog. I have discovered it as Yasmin almost ruined my life.

I have been taking Yasmin for 8 month now and about 4 months ago everything changed. I was a lively person, who laughed and enjoyed everything in her life, who couldn't wait for the weekend to come to see her boyfriend. Soon after starting taking Yasmin, everything changed. The panic attacks began, I cried for no reason I felt I was going crazy and nobody understood me. I really felt I was going nuts until this morning when my sister came to me and asked me which BCP I was taking. I answered that I was on yasmin and she said that my moods and my panic attacks and everything has an explanation. She then told me about a former colleague of hers who, in college, after taking Yasmin for several months threw a knife at her. Then I understood I was not crazy and that Yasmin are responsible for everything.

I don t want to lose my relationship, my parents, and friends because of some stupid pill that can ruin your life.

Thank you so much and once again congrats for this blog.

Kind regards,

Maria.

Since taking Yaz I have now developed a vascular condition

Hi ladies,

I have been reading your post on the Yasmin and Yaz Survivor Forum and here on the Blog for some time and have joined to thank you all for your thoughts and contributions. 

The support and sentiments expressed here are so valuable when there is such little information forthcoming from doctors or the drug manufacturer.

Many women are having difficulty transitioning from Yaz and Yasmin birth control, and I have long suspected that the 'mild' anti aldosterone properties of drospirenone have an effect on the renin angiotensin aldosterone system for a number of months thereafter.

I have experienced constant tachycardia, blood pressure problems, back pain in kidney area, fluid retention, unbearable surges in adrenalin, muscle weakness, sensitivity with regards to my central nervous system, visible strong tremors in hands, lack of coordination, brain fog, hair loss, decreased urination and alternatively excessive urination, odd, random bouts of nausea that disappear as quickly as they appear, vision disturbances, tingling and twitching in extremities...bizarre.

My doctor has used words like 'you are stressed and anxious' to smother my concerns. I think we all know there's a bit of a stigma associated with researching health ailments online, but what's a girl to do when your practitioners are constantly being evasive? Making you feel like a giddy hypochondriac but at the same time putting you on a beta blocker? I smell a rat. How about you?

Since taking Yaz I have now developed a vascular condition (diagnosed by a doctor) that is likely to worsen over the course of my life. All this before the age of 30! Anxiety indeed.
I have no history of serious health problems, no history of heart or other diseases in my family or myself that may be contraindicated with birth control use, non-smoker, always had low blood pressure (even in my pregnancy), a long background of birth control use without complication, and extended breaks without birth control...no complication.

I think my health status is pertinent to note. Around the time I ceased taking Yaz my decline was very rapid and at one stage I was down to 44kg (99lbs)...an old work colleague of mine came to visit me at my worst and cried when she saw me. My quality of life was severely limited for approximately four months thereafter.

On a positive note we are now at seven months past and last week was my first week where I felt almost completely normal! Though the cynic in me feels that you can't be that sick without some long term battles...there were a few times there that I thought I might die.

Sending lots of love and light to you all.
~Anonymous 

Running with Yaz

Love getting emails and letters from people telling their story on birth control. This one is from Char - a woman who was guided to take Yaz to help her with her cramps while she had her period. Looking back, she probably rather have those cramps... Best of luck to you Char in your future healing process. xoxo

Hi. My name’s Char and I’m a 49 year old Mum of three and wife of 26 years. My Yaz story started about a year before I even started taking the drug, at the end of 2009. 

Picture taken from here

I’m a runner and I’d been training hard for an event while trying to cope with a lot of family stress. Running was part of my stress relief and I trained really hard but I trained beyond my ability to recover and developed over-training syndrome. I was all of a sudden unable to run far or fast without being totally exhausted. I had to take time out from running then build back up gradually. It was hard and frustrating but I came back successfully in 2010, running a respectable half marathon in September then my first marathon in October.

In January 2011 I had to go see my GP for a pap smear and mentioned my painful periods (I had to take ibuprofen every four hours for the first two days of my period or I would be vomiting with the pain). She suggested I try Yaz and I thought all my worries were over. I had no idea what was ahead of me.

Within a month my running had started to suffer. I thought it was over-training syndrome starting again. I just felt weak and unable to push myself and my heart rate was unusually high. I went to see a sports medicine doctor and he couldn’t find anything wrong. I did an exercise stress test which told me nothing except I was really fit for my age. But if I was so fit how come I couldn’t run very well any more?

I eased back on the training but still managed to run three half marathons that year – all a lot slower than my best. I still found that if I pushed myself I would feel sick and tired for days.

January 2012 came and I had another case of what seemed to be overt-raining syndrome. I went to yet another sports medicine doctor and he decided that I had post viral fatigue/chronic fatigue. I was devastated. The only treatment he could suggest was to rest and only come back to running when I was feeling better and not to push it.

So I did what I was told. I’d also developed other strange symptoms. I’d become allergic to the deodorant that I’d worn for years. I was nauseated every day especially in the morning and in the afternoon and evening I had awful bloating and an incredible amount of flatulence (You know it’s bad when your dog wakes up and leaves the room because he thinks he’s the culprit). I was having problems with blurry vision when I did close work – which was a lot of the time because I sew for a living. And I’d developed insomnia.

Picture taken from here

Then there were other obscure symptoms – tingling in my shoulders and upper back and down my leg on the left side, very low libido and dryness and anxiety. The anxiety was awful. I have a son who’s been suffering with depression and was assaulted early in 2012 then got caught and injured in a fire at his work about a month later. All of a sudden I was convinced that he was going to be hurt or killed whenever he went out. I’d go to bed and fall asleep only to wake up two hours later in a total panic and have to ring him. I’d be nauseated and sometimes vomit with the worry.

I went back to my GP to see if I could get some help and she sent me to a psychologist. I also mentioned the gastro-intestinal symptoms so she sent me to see a gastro-enterologist too. The psychologist helped me get on top of the anxiety and the gastro-enterologist diagnosed me with irritable bowel syndrome. His diet helped with a lot of the symptoms but I still knew my body wasn’t functioning right.

I’d kept running, or run-walking when I didn’t have the energy to run, once the worst of the overtraining syndrome/chronic fatigue was gone but I just felt weak. I’d lost even more speed and strength and my endurance was non-existent. And when I started to feel the fatigue coming back again I decided that I had to get to the bottom of it for once and all.

I’d felt for a while that the muscle weakness was significant. I’d even started a strength training program to try to get some power back but that had ended up with me getting sick again. One of my friends mentioned that she was on testosterone therapy to boost her levels after going through menopause and this triggered some research.

I found out that a lot of women taking the pill have a very low level of testosterone because they produce an abnormally high amount of sex hormone binding globulin which binds testosterone and makes it unavailable for the body to use. Yes, we women do produce some testosterone and it’s needed to muscle strength, energy, libido and general well-being. The levels decline as we age. Seeing as I’m already in my late 40s, chances are that my levels were lowish to start off with but were almost non-existant because of Yaz.

According to my research, Yaz and Yasmin have a different sort of synthetic progesterone, drospirenone, than the older styles of oral contraceptives and it has a particularly bad anti-androgenic effect. It just wipes out your testosterone! No wonder we feel so bad after taking it for a while.

I went back to my GP and asked her to test my testosterone levels. This time I was certain I’d found the cause of all my problems. And I was right!! My T levels were low and the levels of my sex hormone binding globulin were so high that they were just recorded as over 200 nmol/l. My GP made an appointment with a gynecologist then and there.

The gynecologist gave me a testosterone cream to boost my levels but didn’t want me to go off Yaz. I kept taking it for a few more days, all the while continuing to research and the more I read, the more I became convinced that I could not get better until I stopped taking it. I took my last tablet just over a week ago.

Already I’m starting to feel better. I had my best run in ages just yesterday. I’m starting to feel stronger again. I’ve had five good night’s sleep. The blurry vision didn’t happen even after a full day of sewing. I have had headaches – just mild ones. And I’ve had a couple of small pimples but again, nothing to worry about. But best of all I’ve got my optimism back. I finally know that I’m going to get better.

~ Charmaine 

Yasmin ON Libido GONE

I recently received an email from Iulia that I wanted to share with you all (with her permission off course). The email is slightly edited for clarity. Iulia's story describes so perfectly how a woman's mind can be totally transformed by being on the pill (or any other hormonal contraceptive). The thoughts and feelings that crawl on us without any truth to it is mesmerizing - and to think that a FDA approved birth control pill is the cause is beyond scary.

Hello!
My name is Iulia and I want to start out by pointing out that I am a resident doctor in psychiatry, so you can understand that not even a doctor can figure out what he/she going through, and even less with what his/her patients are going through.

I started taking oral contraceptives in 2002 or 2003, can`t exactly remember the year (all I remember is that I was not a med student back then). I started oral contraceptives because my menstrual period was not at all regular (I got my first period when I was in 3rd or 4th grade!!!), mostly based on my low-grade obesity; once I lost about 20kg and got my weight in normal range, everything became ok: my periods were like clockwork!

My OBYG recommended taking Lo-Femenal. I took those for about 2 years and had absolutely no problems while on it - but suddenly my menstruation transformed itself from being a red-colored one, into a greyish color. Kind of spooky and I stopped them. 

In 2006 I had an abortion (was not on the pill at the time) due to a broken condom and decided to go on the pill again. I developed obsessive ideas about being pregnant. I did 2 pregnancy tests every week just to make sure even though I had no sexual contact at all. Looking back now, I know it was PTSD. After three months I was fully recovered from the mental agony of the abortion. 

Picture taken from here

In January 2007 I started Yasmin and since then, hell broke loose step by step. All of my symptoms on Yasmin started gradually, so I never thought that Yasmin might be the cause of them. First of all was my libido: I was always keen on sex and suddenly all of that just vanished. "Ok" I thought to myself, maybe it is something temporary, I'll just wait (I waited for 5 years and nothing); luckily I have a boyfriend (now fiancee and soon husband) that understands somewhat what I was and am going through.

Second to that, maybe one year after, the mood changes started. First, it was not that bad, I was a little bit more depressed, cried easily and one week before my menstruation I was very irritable. But I managed keeping all the symptoms under control. About one year after that (2008), the paraesthesias started: on my face, my arms, I had the pinky of my right hand numb for 2 weeks non-stop, when I walked my legs became numb very quickly, I had cramps in my lower legs. I blamed all that to the lack of exercise (I have always been lazy when it came to physical exercise). 

As time went on, my boyfriend became more depressed about me not wanting any sexual activity whatsoever, one time I even called him a pervert when he tried to get me aroused, so I tried to explain to him that he is not the cause of my lack of libido, it is just that I do not feel the need for sex. Not at all. I tried having intercourse again, but that only happened maybe once every two months L and only because I knew he needed it. He started telling me that he wants his old Iulia back, that made me feel really guilty, but still no sexual desire. I tried, again, to explain that something is happening to me, I didn’t know what, but that he should be patient until I get my things straightened out. I would like to point out that he loves me A LOT and he has been supportive through this nasty experience all the way. 

Next I started to become jealous on every girl that talked to him. Every time he went out I started thinking that maybe he is going out with another woman, and I was very suspicious. But it passed away rather quickly.

Picture taken from here

2010: my boyfriend proposed! But, I felt nothing. He planned a trip to Budapest (he knew how badly I wanted to go to Budapest) and proposed there, but I was like: "Ok." What girl thinks that??? One should be happy when that happens, but I was very indifferent to that. When that happened I knew something was not quite right.

January 2012: had my first panic attack (basically when you have a panic attack, there are 3 types of thoughts going through your mind: you`re going to lose control, you`re going to die or that you are going insane) and since then I developed an obsession about going crazy; being a young psychiatrist, I researched every possible mental illness I could have, but deep inside I felt that it was somewhat connected to the pill.

In February 2012: I started having obsessive ideas about having cancer; CRUEL ideas, but I managed to keep them under some sort of control. A few months later, in May 2012: I had a bad case of diarrhea, with dehydration and started having a permanent state of panic and panic attacks; I blamed it all on dehydration and rapid heartbeats. While in a panic attack, I thought that my mother-in-law was planning to poison me and that became the source of my anxiety. I knew my thoughts are not normal, so I excluded the possibility of developing a delusional disorder or psychosis, but when the anxiety kicked back in, all my thoughts came back and I was back where I started: having cancer, my mother-in-law wanting to kill me and going crazy and ending up in an asylum…

Drawing taken from here

August 2012: extreme irritability and depression started; my anxiety was on a level of 9 out of 10, but only 2 weeks before my period; after my period I was back to somewhat normal. That continued for three months and in October I felt like I had no good days anymore. I started taking natural tranquilizers which have helped me a little bit and finally decided to stop the pill!!! I took my last pill on October 26, had my period and never went back on it again. Shortly after I went to see my coordinator (he is an old psychiatry professor) and I told him about what I was going through and told me THAT HAPPENS ON THE PILL!!

He also said that most of my symptoms are related to a deficiency in Magnesium, Zinc and Vitamin B6 so I started taking magnesium and b6 complex and it all feels right again. I can`t say all of my days are good, sometimes my anxiety kicks back, but at a more bearable intensity. But I have only been off the pill for 3 weeks now but it has made a huge impact in how I feel already.

~ Iulia

Romania