Yasmin ON Libido GONE

I recently received an email from Iulia that I wanted to share with you all (with her permission off course). The email is slightly edited for clarity. Iulia's story describes so perfectly how a woman's mind can be totally transformed by being on the pill (or any other hormonal contraceptive). The thoughts and feelings that crawl on us without any truth to it is mesmerizing - and to think that a FDA approved birth control pill is the cause is beyond scary.

Hello!
My name is Iulia and I want to start out by pointing out that I am a resident doctor in psychiatry, so you can understand that not even a doctor can figure out what he/she going through, and even less with what his/her patients are going through.

I started taking oral contraceptives in 2002 or 2003, can`t exactly remember the year (all I remember is that I was not a med student back then). I started oral contraceptives because my menstrual period was not at all regular (I got my first period when I was in 3rd or 4th grade!!!), mostly based on my low-grade obesity; once I lost about 20kg and got my weight in normal range, everything became ok: my periods were like clockwork!

My OBYG recommended taking Lo-Femenal. I took those for about 2 years and had absolutely no problems while on it - but suddenly my menstruation transformed itself from being a red-colored one, into a greyish color. Kind of spooky and I stopped them. 

In 2006 I had an abortion (was not on the pill at the time) due to a broken condom and decided to go on the pill again. I developed obsessive ideas about being pregnant. I did 2 pregnancy tests every week just to make sure even though I had no sexual contact at all. Looking back now, I know it was PTSD. After three months I was fully recovered from the mental agony of the abortion. 

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In January 2007 I started Yasmin and since then, hell broke loose step by step. All of my symptoms on Yasmin started gradually, so I never thought that Yasmin might be the cause of them. First of all was my libido: I was always keen on sex and suddenly all of that just vanished. "Ok" I thought to myself, maybe it is something temporary, I'll just wait (I waited for 5 years and nothing); luckily I have a boyfriend (now fiancee and soon husband) that understands somewhat what I was and am going through.

Second to that, maybe one year after, the mood changes started. First, it was not that bad, I was a little bit more depressed, cried easily and one week before my menstruation I was very irritable. But I managed keeping all the symptoms under control. About one year after that (2008), the paraesthesias started: on my face, my arms, I had the pinky of my right hand numb for 2 weeks non-stop, when I walked my legs became numb very quickly, I had cramps in my lower legs. I blamed all that to the lack of exercise (I have always been lazy when it came to physical exercise). 

As time went on, my boyfriend became more depressed about me not wanting any sexual activity whatsoever, one time I even called him a pervert when he tried to get me aroused, so I tried to explain to him that he is not the cause of my lack of libido, it is just that I do not feel the need for sex. Not at all. I tried having intercourse again, but that only happened maybe once every two months L and only because I knew he needed it. He started telling me that he wants his old Iulia back, that made me feel really guilty, but still no sexual desire. I tried, again, to explain that something is happening to me, I didn’t know what, but that he should be patient until I get my things straightened out. I would like to point out that he loves me A LOT and he has been supportive through this nasty experience all the way. 

Next I started to become jealous on every girl that talked to him. Every time he went out I started thinking that maybe he is going out with another woman, and I was very suspicious. But it passed away rather quickly.

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2010: my boyfriend proposed! But, I felt nothing. He planned a trip to Budapest (he knew how badly I wanted to go to Budapest) and proposed there, but I was like: "Ok." What girl thinks that??? One should be happy when that happens, but I was very indifferent to that. When that happened I knew something was not quite right.

January 2012: had my first panic attack (basically when you have a panic attack, there are 3 types of thoughts going through your mind: you`re going to lose control, you`re going to die or that you are going insane) and since then I developed an obsession about going crazy; being a young psychiatrist, I researched every possible mental illness I could have, but deep inside I felt that it was somewhat connected to the pill.

In February 2012: I started having obsessive ideas about having cancer; CRUEL ideas, but I managed to keep them under some sort of control. A few months later, in May 2012: I had a bad case of diarrhea, with dehydration and started having a permanent state of panic and panic attacks; I blamed it all on dehydration and rapid heartbeats. While in a panic attack, I thought that my mother-in-law was planning to poison me and that became the source of my anxiety. I knew my thoughts are not normal, so I excluded the possibility of developing a delusional disorder or psychosis, but when the anxiety kicked back in, all my thoughts came back and I was back where I started: having cancer, my mother-in-law wanting to kill me and going crazy and ending up in an asylum…

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August 2012: extreme irritability and depression started; my anxiety was on a level of 9 out of 10, but only 2 weeks before my period; after my period I was back to somewhat normal. That continued for three months and in October I felt like I had no good days anymore. I started taking natural tranquilizers which have helped me a little bit and finally decided to stop the pill!!! I took my last pill on October 26, had my period and never went back on it again. Shortly after I went to see my coordinator (he is an old psychiatry professor) and I told him about what I was going through and told me THAT HAPPENS ON THE PILL!!

He also said that most of my symptoms are related to a deficiency in Magnesium, Zinc and Vitamin B6 so I started taking magnesium and b6 complex and it all feels right again. I can`t say all of my days are good, sometimes my anxiety kicks back, but at a more bearable intensity. But I have only been off the pill for 3 weeks now but it has made a huge impact in how I feel already.

~ Iulia

Romania

Getting back on track efter quitting your birthcontrol pill

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• Did you just put two and two together? 

• Did you just realize that every little thing related to your diminishing health could be directly related to the contraceptive you are taking? 

• Are you doubting that it could even be true when no one told you it could happen prior to even starting to take it?

You are not alone! Seriously - there are thousands of women out there who have been there and many more to come.

We are told by the medical society that we are simply emotional or are suffering from anxiety... or that we just need to relax. The blame is on us... all us. And for a long time we believe them, because we don't know what to believe. We find answers to our issues in life situations, family history, or other events... but never do we look at what we put in our bodies every day.

What that every-day pill does to our health is astronomical when you think about that we only have one body and soul. A body that is, in nature, capable to self-healing but with the constant feeding of synthetic hormones and sometimes bad food the body cannot heal but must constantly fight. And slowly by slowly it will loose every battle - until you give it the chance to breath and a chance to do its job. 

Your body will not start to heal until you have taken your last pill.

• When your body starts to heal you might feel worse that when you were "sick". This is when many start to question if it really was the pill after all, so don't let it trick you. Your body needs to get rid of all that toxins that it has stored and that can be painful.
• Then you will start to feel better... A feeling of great relief! It might only be a tap better than "feeling horrible", but you start to see the light...  and every day gets better and better, little by little. 
• Then, as you think you are getting better, you get what many refers to as a "relapse". Something that makes you feel you are back at square one and your sufferings and pain is back... What is this really? A "relapse" is not really you falling back into a previous state of your healing, instead it is your body going into the SECOND layer of healing. If you look at your body as an onion with its multiple layers: The body can only focus on one layer at a time and not until that first layer is peeled off and have been healed your body can move on to the next, which usually (not always) releases a new set of toxins, making you feel "sick" again. - Don't give up - Celebrate! You have just completed the worst phase in your healing cycle!    
• Then you are back at feeling better... and on it goes with ups and downs as your body's healing process goes through the multiple layers of the onion (your body). So take it for what it is, you cannot heal over a night as it has taken months or maybe years for your body to get to the state it was in before you stopped the damaging synthetic contraceptive. 

Healing One-on-One
If someone would have told me this before I started my healing process I still wouldn't have listened because when we are sick we only care about the small rewards that brings us quick satisfaction instead of looking at the future and the big picture... So if you follow your own way I will not get angry, everyone has to do what they feel is best for them but here are a few bullets of what finally made a difference in my healing. I build this list based on the strong belief that food has the POWER to heal us as well as it has the power to destroy us and I am a living proof of it: 

• Eat ORGANIC (follow the "Dirty Dozen" if you don't want to buy organic for everything) to avoid added chemicals, toxins, and pesticides that will slow down your healing process
• Stay away from CORN products if they are not organic - they are 99% genetically modified (GMO) and will therefore contain pesticides like Round-up. Watch the documentary "The World According to Monsanto" on YouTube to better understand this dilemma.   
• SOY is NOT intended to be eaten by humans! Not in any form.. milk, formula, cheese, tofu, oils etc. Soy produces estrogen in your body and as a recovering birth control user you sure do NOT need any extra of that! (Read your labels - soy is in A LOT of foods for fillers, especially in processed food)  
• Meat should be from grass fed, hormone free, and antibiotic free cows
• Fish should be wild caught 
• Chickens should be organic, antibiotic, and hormone free
• Stay away from vegetable oils (this includes margarine) except for organic olive oil (but don't heat it up). Instead eat as much as you want of real butter and coconut oil.
• Have Protein with every meal (even breakfast) like eggs - eat the whole thing not just the whites. 
• Stay away from SUGAR - research have shown that sugar is linked to lower immune system, increase the risk for cancer, and sugar also makes the mineral balance in your body unstable which results in you not being able to absorb the nutrients from the food you are eating properly. 
• WHEAT - please find an alternative... if you can't live without bread - eat Esikel sprouted bread; if you can't live without pasta - eat Brown rice or Quinoa Pasta - or my new favorite: Spaghetti Squash!
• WATER - Drink half of your body weight (lbs) in ounces every day - dehydration can be the cause of many of your symptoms. (150 lbs = 75 oz; 200 lbs = 100oz). Compensate if you drink anything diuretic (sugary beverage, fruit juice, coffee, tea) with 1.5 times of water. (you drink 8 oz of coffee - drink 8x1.5=12oz water)
• EAT FRUIT FRESH- (don't drink it or dry it) Fresh fruit can do wonders, try to get a few in a day. Eat them away from food as a snack as the fructose in the fruit can inhibit the digestion of protein, fat, and the more complex carbohydrates.
• Eat unprocessed as MUCH as you can. As close to nature as you can get! 
• This is even MORE important to follow if you are trying to get pregnant to prepare for that new, unprotected, and innocent life.   

Day by day you can make the choice of creating a better future for YOU by making the right choices of what you feed your body. 

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It took me 5 years to recover from Yasmin

I started Yasmin in 2005, after I stopped breast-feeding my second child, and stopped taking yasmin in March of 2007.  I had only taken the pill for about 2 years or so and it took me about 5 years to completely recovered. With that I want to point out that: each individual’s recovery period is different.

The first year, on yasmin, and like everybody else, I had already noticed some strange symptoms but I brushed it off thinking it was probably due to stress as I had 2 toddlers under the age of 5 and was also working full time.  

Those strange symptoms were: 

• loss of libido
• short-tempered
• unusual dryness on my skin throughout my body (skin would break if you scrub or scratch)
• light-headedness
• insensitive to feelings
• feeling stressed all the time

Those symptoms were just the bothering symptoms while I was on the pill until I got a full-blown panic attack one beautiful day in March of 2007.  I was fetching my eldest daughter from kindergarten when an attack swept over me, flooded me with palpitations out of the blue, sweating profusely and out of breath.  I was thinking I was about to faint and the school crowd suddenly became overwhelming for me (I was so fine with the crowd and noises before!)

I still don’t know how I made it out of the school and drove back to our home.  My husband was out-stationed then and I thought perhaps it was an ‘insecurity’ feeling that my husband was away and I was left handling the house with the kids but I was skeptical because I never had those problems before!  I did not understand why I couldn’t handle it this time.  I was a healthy, strong mother – what made me so fearful this time? I kept asking myself... The panic feeling remained with me for a few more days and I began to sense that it could be the pill. 

I stopped mid-pack and had a withdrawal bleeding.  After I stopped all other impending symptoms hit me.  I was bedridden for about 2 weeks with these symptoms:

• unable to get out of bed due to body ache
•  fainting 
•  unable to think, brain-fog
• loss of appetite
• loss of concentration
• heart palpitations
• nausea
• numbness
• suicidal

I was feeling like I was about to die.  I cried endlessly wondering what illness I had, my children watched me helplessly. They were so young then and I was so sorry that they had to see me in that state.  I saw shock and fear in their eyes.  I neglected them and everyone in the family because I was numb, I had no feelings, I felt brain-dead as I couldn’t think properly.  All I wanted to do was to sleep and lay in bed.  Back then I still couldn’t imagine what had gone wrong except for knowing that I had stopped the pill and I was bleeding.  I cried a river of tears.  I had no food on the table for the family, I didn’t send my kids to school.  I just locked myself in the bedroom – I did not even know when it was day and night.

After a few more weeks during the early months off, I watched everyone around me in envy because they could move around so easily while I was feeling handicapped.  I even developed agoraphobia; I couldn’t step out of the house.  I had my mother come over to help me but it was hard as we did not live together, I had my neighbor send my kids to school and she also did grocery shopping for me when my husband was away for work.  I couldn’t leave home without someone by my side.  I had IBS and bouts of vomiting.  I went to the doctor and was diagnosed as gastroenteritis.  Where did that come from? I was eating the same food as cooked for my family – how could they be safe while I was poisoned?  Thousands of questions raced through my mind: am I dying? Do I have stage 3 cancer that I was not aware of?  I imagined my own funeral and even dreamt of one.  I was suicidal when I was awake but couldn’t do anything, even too tired to walk out of my bedroom.  Visits to the doctors were useless.  They sent me to psychiatrists.  At one time, I really believed I was crazy but the gut feeling told me I was not.  I had always been healthy, from a young girl (I traveled across the continent alone a few times) to a strong mother of 2, a runner, and doing martial art.  What happened to me?  - A question that was left unanswered until I found the forum 4 to 6 months after I was ill and going through this.

It was a big relief when I found others who shared the same symptoms as mine.  I cried in relief, this time tears of happiness because I found my answer.  I stopped questioning when I could be better after learning that different people recover differently.  I channeled my time and effort to research and got help instead of venting and ranting ‘why me’?  I got over the stage of being angry with the pill very quickly because I knew I wanted to recover for the sake of myself and everyone in my family.  

My recovery was bumpy and I was constantly going through so many unexpected moments.  For me, it was not just depression alone.  It was depression along with many other symptoms – physically, emotionally, and mentally at the same time.  Examples are:

• headaches that would not go away
• no concentration no matter how much sleep I got
• night sweating, shivering, and trembling
• feeling faint under the sun like my body was losing control of how to regulate its own temperature
• random pain from waist down to thigh, leg and calf – I was limping at one time
• eye, skin and muscle twitches
• strong sunlight made me dizzy
• couldn’t form words in a sentence properly
• bad eyesight
• toothache, sensitive gum
• hair loss
• joint pain
• anxious and couldn’t concentrate while driving
• couldn’t  stand loud noises and big crowds
• couldn’t function in the mornings
• insecurity of being alone
• allergies
• cold and flu-like symptoms onset of menstruation

Today I sometimes lose count of what else I have been through.  I wouldn’t have recovered if I didn’t read and research enough.  I also discovered I was so naive when I was younger – feeding my body with synthetic hormones.  As no doctors could help me, I diagnosed myself with adrenal fatigue after my thorough research.  Yasmin had ruined and robbed me of my life, even as I recovered physically I still couldn’t get back my confidence completely, not until I got help from inspirational and motivational guide books – they helped me through steps-by-step in discovering myself, my strength, and my future. 

The following has helped me:

• get enough rest, sleep at least 8 hours even after you are fully recovered because there is always relapses if you ‘overdo’ yourself.  Do not wait for the relapse to treat your body well – treat your body well at ALL times
• avoid alcohol and other caffeinated drinks
• accept help whenever you can, wherever you are
• find a hobby that suits you, distract yourself from negative thoughts
• read self-help books
• do light exercises e.g. tai chi or yoga
• laugh – even though you may not feel like it, watch funny videos to bring out laughter – it makes a difference
• acupuncture
• body massage – it may not be possible for some and may be costly, I suggest to google ‘how to massage yourself’, it does make a difference on stiff muscles
• to ease allergies or cold/flu symptoms, drink up turmeric + water
• have herbal soup once a week if possible
• stick with home-made meals and juice from fruit rather than fruit concentrate and sugar
• avoid processed food
• Above all, patience is the key point to getting well.  I hope you all have a speedy recovery.

Because of what I have been through, I have learn a great deal about natural health – I have started to take courses and schedule my time for study on homeopathy and herbalism. 

~ Leni

Yasmin user 2005 - 2007