Panic Attacks and Anxiety - Thank you BC Pill :(

Hi everyone!
I know I don't normally post something in a letter format here but I have gotten so many panic attack and anxiety attack emails lately that I was thinking about doing an online seminar about the subject. It is really hard for me to reply to everyone in a timely manner and at length to give you all that you want and need... So I was thinking with a Live Online session where you can hear me talk and ask questions at the same time - we might be able to make some impact in everyone's recovery!

Plus, it would be available after too for people to look at.

What do you ladies think? Is it something that would be of interest to you? If so leave a comment and I'll come up with a time and date in the near future. The event would be live on facebook.

Hugs and healing to you all.
~Helena

Panic Attacks thanks to the Pill?!

Yes, it is more fact that speculation at this point. There is no doubt in my entire body, mind, and soul that panic attacks are caused by the pill or the detox from them. The many synthetic hormones mixed with chemicals we gladly swallow down every day do cause damage...

...and one of those can be, yup you guessed it; Panic Attacks 

For those of you who have no idea what a panic attack feels like, let me try to explain it... 

All of a sudden, from seemingly nowhere, you start to feel nervous like something is wrong. Your internal senses are on high alert. Danger Danger Danger! However, your logical brain understands that nothing is wrong because you were just watching a romantic comedy on TV, or standing in line at the grocery store, or sitting at your desk at work, or taking a walk with the dog... Nothing about the situation you are in is dangerous, nor has it ever been in the past. 

It feels like your surroundings are closing in on you and there is no escape. Your heart starts to beat harder and faster, and your chest might even hurt. You feel like there is not enough oxygen, nor can you take a normal deep breath. You are so afraid... maybe you are dying. Yes, that is what you start to think after a few minutes. This is what dying feels like you tell yourself... It is time to die...  

Then, the attack ends. Out of nowhere it seems like. 

If this was your first attack, you hope that it was the only one... However, the more you get the more nervous you are going to be about getting them again. If you frequently get them at the grocery store - there is a pretty good chance you will become afraid of going to the grocery store because your reality of getting panic attacks there are bigger than the reality of how logically safe a grocery store really is. 

Panic attacks create fear and more panic attacks and you truly feel stuck in a place where you don't understand who you are anymore. You have no logical reason to these panic attacks. Yet, you seem to be completely unable to manage them or preventing them to come again.    

So, no matter if you are having panic attacks from side effects of the BC pill or any other medication, or if they are happening to you anyway.. I have decided to do a short live broadcast on how you can take care of yourself in those situations. The broadcast will happen either the end of May or June. To be notified on exactly when and stay updated like my page SunnySoul Coach on facebook, it is free ;) 

Love and support always. 

I hate myself for going on Yasmin

I have had a terrible experience with Yasmin. I started it in September this year (2014). Before this I was on Levelyn ED since 2008.

I decided to switch to Yasmin because of the so called benefits such as clearer skin, lighter periods etc. When I asked my doctor if he could prescribe this pill he did not hesitate at all. He didn't ask me any questions about my health or whether I had a history of anxiety or bloods clots or anything. This made me believe that this pill wouldn't be so bad. I assumed that if it had bad side effects he would have told me. I soon learned how wrong I was. 

As soon as I began taking Yasmin I was very thirsty, dehydrated all the time. I thought perhaps I was not drinking enough water. Note that I only ever drink water and ONE cup of coffee a day - I do not drink much alcohol, except maybe one glass of wine a month, nor any soft drinks. No matter how much water I drank I could not rehydrate myself.

I had a feeling that the dehydration was the result of the Yasmin but I ignored it as I did not think it was anything major. After a couple of weeks I no longer felt dehydrated. Instead, I begun feeling anxious and with this I had diarrhea. In the past, I have had very mild anxiety with diarrhea (I now believe this is from my other birth control pill) but it was never this bad. I was not sure if it was the diarrhea causing the anxiety or the other way around. At first it happened every couple of days and on weekends when I was catching up with friends. I thought this was just me being silly so I took gastro-stop (anti-diarrhea medication) and ignored it. After about a month, I was waking up with diarrhea every morning which continued into the day and would re-occur at night. I was having full on panic attacks for absolutely no reason at all. I thought I was going crazy. I could not eat with fear of going to the bathroom and lost weight.

Eventually it all got so bad and I started doing research on Yasmin. I worked out that it was the Yasmin that was making me like this. I decided it was time to stop. That was when everything went down hill.

Monday, October 20th, this year was my first day without Yasmin. I was still feeling somewhat anxious but I was happy that I stopped taking Yasmin and was looking forward to getting back to normal again. On Tuesday I felt worse, having a panic attack at work. When I got home from work I had terrible anxiety and diarrhea. On Wednesday, I felt even worse and left work early to go home. I thought that perhaps I had gastro or a stomach bug (it was this bad).

On that Wednesday everything changed.

Once I got home I had a horrible panic attack and it lasted for hours. I had chronic diarrhea and could not even have a sip of water without going to the bathroom. I was also nauseous. My entire body was trembling and my heart was palpitating and felt as though it was going to jump out of my chest. I had never felt like this before, EVER! I was rushed to the emergency room and put on a drip immediately. I had every sort of test performed on me imaginable. All of my tests came out perfect. The doctor told me I was perfectly fine and that I probably had a bug, to drink lots of water and I would be fine. I told him that I had stopped taking Yasmin and done research on this - I asked if this was the withdrawal symptoms of stopping Yasmin. He said no.

The next day I felt slightly better but as it got later in the day I was exactly the same again. And, once again I was rushed to the emergency room. I had more tests done and they told me I was fine and probably had a bug. I told the doctor about the Yasmin and he ignored me. I was sent home after the tests came back fine and I had a drip as well as morphine to calm me down.

I have not been in the hospital since then but my symptoms have not really gone away. I admit that I am better than I was but to this day (it has been almost one month) I have had diarrhea and some anxiety daily. I have seen a doctor about this TWICE. on the first occasion he told me this was not the result of Yasmin. He said the symptoms I was having were too severe to be related to Yasmin. On the second occasion, he told me that MAYBE this was the result of Yasmin but this was "rare". He said I would be fine after another week. He was wrong.

I have no idea what to do. I spend hours everyday crying and have had thoughts of ending my life. I cannot enjoy the things I used to enjoy and I hate myself for going on Yasmin. I refuse to take any other pills or to put any other chemicals in my body. I feel like I will never get better. I feel like there is something wrong with me even though I know Yasmin is the root of my problems. I know it has only been just under a month but how long will this last? I have been taking various vitamins and minerals but nothing seems to help.

I hate that doctors won't admit that we are suffering from Yasmin side effects. It's not fair.

I have days where I am positive and feel like I will be fine. Then on other days I feel like I am just getting worse all over again. I don't know how to help myself and its not fair that I am putting my family, friends and boyfriend through this. I have had thoughts of breaking up with my boyfriend so he doesn't have to see me like this.

Any advice will really help and I would really appreciate to hear some success stories from women who have experienced similar symptoms and recovered.

Thank you.
Camilla,
Adelaide, South Australia

Birth Control Side effects (just a small list, nothing to worry about)

Birth control is a subject that has become a mission bigger than myself... I feel a need to spread the word to everyone I speak with and I wish someone could have shared with me ten years ago what I know today... But on the other hand if someone would have done that - I would not have been here today, trying to work so hard for it.

Birth control in the form of IUD, Pill, Implant, Shot, Ring or Patch are a hormonal form of birth control. They are accepted as the NORM by many; including our parents, friends and doctors and are not questioned enough. What we learn about them are the so called benefits and not side effects - and in many cases the side effect is looked upon as that 1-something percent chance of getting pregnant... (Off course getting pregnant will change your life forever and I am not trying to hide that...) but there is so much more than that. So much that not many speak about, or even acknowledge as being related.

More often than NOT are our symptoms ignored, laughed at, or treated with medications that most often fail. Why, I do not know - but I am sad that it has to be that way... there are so many young wonderful women out there that need the support that are left alone to think that it is all in their heads.

I am here to tell you that it is NOT in your head - your symptoms are very much real and are related to hormonal birth control, (or hormonal treatment during menopause if you are at that stage in your life):

• Hair loss
• Heart Palpitations
  
• Vision blurres
• Astigmatism
• High Blood pressure
• Allergy reactions
• Sinus problems
• Vaginal Dryness
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Insomia
• Symptom of Hypothyroidism
• Low tolerance to carbohydrates
• Poor nutrition absorbtion
• Diarrhea 
• Dizzyness
• Alcohol and/or Caffeine sensitiveness
• Feeling faint
• Weight Gain
• Weight Loss
  
• Low or no sex drive
• Spotting in-between periods
• Irregular Bleeding
• Cold sores
• Low immune system
• UTI
• Memory problems
• Bloating
• Mood swings
• Migraines
• Head aches
• Weepiness
• PCOS
• Sensitive to the sun
• Nervousness 
• Chronically tired
• Changes in skin 
• Muscle cramps or pain
• Heart attack
• Stroke
• Blood clot

As you can see most symptoms have nothing to do with your reproductive tract (vagina, uterus, menstruation)... and they may be overlooked by yourself even, as a symptom of your birth control method. And if you suspect that it is linked you must prepare yourself that your suspicion might be dismissed by the doctor or gynecologist. You must listen to your body! Taking beta blockers, anti depressants, and/or use Rogain shampoo will NOT treat your real underlying issue, only hide it - if you are lucky - and then you should also hope for no side effects of this options. The only way you are truly going to get rid of this is to get off the hormonal birth control, and by that I mean GET OFF, not try another one, and restore your body's natural hormone balance; which could be a trip to hell and back but worth the ride in the end!

Your health comes first! It is really that simple. Without your health in tact you cannot care for your loved ones in the best possible way. Take care of YOU first! If you are taking hormonal birth control you should really sit down and ask yourself if it is worth the risks when there are so many other available options out there that does not include hormones when it comes to birth control...

Since taking Yaz I have now developed a vascular condition

Hi ladies,

I have been reading your post on the Yasmin and Yaz Survivor Forum and here on the Blog for some time and have joined to thank you all for your thoughts and contributions. 

The support and sentiments expressed here are so valuable when there is such little information forthcoming from doctors or the drug manufacturer.

Many women are having difficulty transitioning from Yaz and Yasmin birth control, and I have long suspected that the 'mild' anti aldosterone properties of drospirenone have an effect on the renin angiotensin aldosterone system for a number of months thereafter.

I have experienced constant tachycardia, blood pressure problems, back pain in kidney area, fluid retention, unbearable surges in adrenalin, muscle weakness, sensitivity with regards to my central nervous system, visible strong tremors in hands, lack of coordination, brain fog, hair loss, decreased urination and alternatively excessive urination, odd, random bouts of nausea that disappear as quickly as they appear, vision disturbances, tingling and twitching in extremities...bizarre.

My doctor has used words like 'you are stressed and anxious' to smother my concerns. I think we all know there's a bit of a stigma associated with researching health ailments online, but what's a girl to do when your practitioners are constantly being evasive? Making you feel like a giddy hypochondriac but at the same time putting you on a beta blocker? I smell a rat. How about you?

Since taking Yaz I have now developed a vascular condition (diagnosed by a doctor) that is likely to worsen over the course of my life. All this before the age of 30! Anxiety indeed.
I have no history of serious health problems, no history of heart or other diseases in my family or myself that may be contraindicated with birth control use, non-smoker, always had low blood pressure (even in my pregnancy), a long background of birth control use without complication, and extended breaks without birth control...no complication.

I think my health status is pertinent to note. Around the time I ceased taking Yaz my decline was very rapid and at one stage I was down to 44kg (99lbs)...an old work colleague of mine came to visit me at my worst and cried when she saw me. My quality of life was severely limited for approximately four months thereafter.

On a positive note we are now at seven months past and last week was my first week where I felt almost completely normal! Though the cynic in me feels that you can't be that sick without some long term battles...there were a few times there that I thought I might die.

Sending lots of love and light to you all.
~Anonymous 

Running with Yaz

Love getting emails and letters from people telling their story on birth control. This one is from Char - a woman who was guided to take Yaz to help her with her cramps while she had her period. Looking back, she probably rather have those cramps... Best of luck to you Char in your future healing process. xoxo

Hi. My name’s Char and I’m a 49 year old Mum of three and wife of 26 years. My Yaz story started about a year before I even started taking the drug, at the end of 2009. 

Picture taken from here

I’m a runner and I’d been training hard for an event while trying to cope with a lot of family stress. Running was part of my stress relief and I trained really hard but I trained beyond my ability to recover and developed over-training syndrome. I was all of a sudden unable to run far or fast without being totally exhausted. I had to take time out from running then build back up gradually. It was hard and frustrating but I came back successfully in 2010, running a respectable half marathon in September then my first marathon in October.

In January 2011 I had to go see my GP for a pap smear and mentioned my painful periods (I had to take ibuprofen every four hours for the first two days of my period or I would be vomiting with the pain). She suggested I try Yaz and I thought all my worries were over. I had no idea what was ahead of me.

Within a month my running had started to suffer. I thought it was over-training syndrome starting again. I just felt weak and unable to push myself and my heart rate was unusually high. I went to see a sports medicine doctor and he couldn’t find anything wrong. I did an exercise stress test which told me nothing except I was really fit for my age. But if I was so fit how come I couldn’t run very well any more?

I eased back on the training but still managed to run three half marathons that year – all a lot slower than my best. I still found that if I pushed myself I would feel sick and tired for days.

January 2012 came and I had another case of what seemed to be overt-raining syndrome. I went to yet another sports medicine doctor and he decided that I had post viral fatigue/chronic fatigue. I was devastated. The only treatment he could suggest was to rest and only come back to running when I was feeling better and not to push it.

So I did what I was told. I’d also developed other strange symptoms. I’d become allergic to the deodorant that I’d worn for years. I was nauseated every day especially in the morning and in the afternoon and evening I had awful bloating and an incredible amount of flatulence (You know it’s bad when your dog wakes up and leaves the room because he thinks he’s the culprit). I was having problems with blurry vision when I did close work – which was a lot of the time because I sew for a living. And I’d developed insomnia.

Picture taken from here

Then there were other obscure symptoms – tingling in my shoulders and upper back and down my leg on the left side, very low libido and dryness and anxiety. The anxiety was awful. I have a son who’s been suffering with depression and was assaulted early in 2012 then got caught and injured in a fire at his work about a month later. All of a sudden I was convinced that he was going to be hurt or killed whenever he went out. I’d go to bed and fall asleep only to wake up two hours later in a total panic and have to ring him. I’d be nauseated and sometimes vomit with the worry.

I went back to my GP to see if I could get some help and she sent me to a psychologist. I also mentioned the gastro-intestinal symptoms so she sent me to see a gastro-enterologist too. The psychologist helped me get on top of the anxiety and the gastro-enterologist diagnosed me with irritable bowel syndrome. His diet helped with a lot of the symptoms but I still knew my body wasn’t functioning right.

I’d kept running, or run-walking when I didn’t have the energy to run, once the worst of the overtraining syndrome/chronic fatigue was gone but I just felt weak. I’d lost even more speed and strength and my endurance was non-existent. And when I started to feel the fatigue coming back again I decided that I had to get to the bottom of it for once and all.

I’d felt for a while that the muscle weakness was significant. I’d even started a strength training program to try to get some power back but that had ended up with me getting sick again. One of my friends mentioned that she was on testosterone therapy to boost her levels after going through menopause and this triggered some research.

I found out that a lot of women taking the pill have a very low level of testosterone because they produce an abnormally high amount of sex hormone binding globulin which binds testosterone and makes it unavailable for the body to use. Yes, we women do produce some testosterone and it’s needed to muscle strength, energy, libido and general well-being. The levels decline as we age. Seeing as I’m already in my late 40s, chances are that my levels were lowish to start off with but were almost non-existant because of Yaz.

According to my research, Yaz and Yasmin have a different sort of synthetic progesterone, drospirenone, than the older styles of oral contraceptives and it has a particularly bad anti-androgenic effect. It just wipes out your testosterone! No wonder we feel so bad after taking it for a while.

I went back to my GP and asked her to test my testosterone levels. This time I was certain I’d found the cause of all my problems. And I was right!! My T levels were low and the levels of my sex hormone binding globulin were so high that they were just recorded as over 200 nmol/l. My GP made an appointment with a gynecologist then and there.

The gynecologist gave me a testosterone cream to boost my levels but didn’t want me to go off Yaz. I kept taking it for a few more days, all the while continuing to research and the more I read, the more I became convinced that I could not get better until I stopped taking it. I took my last tablet just over a week ago.

Already I’m starting to feel better. I had my best run in ages just yesterday. I’m starting to feel stronger again. I’ve had five good night’s sleep. The blurry vision didn’t happen even after a full day of sewing. I have had headaches – just mild ones. And I’ve had a couple of small pimples but again, nothing to worry about. But best of all I’ve got my optimism back. I finally know that I’m going to get better.

~ Charmaine 

Yasmin ON Libido GONE

I recently received an email from Iulia that I wanted to share with you all (with her permission off course). The email is slightly edited for clarity. Iulia's story describes so perfectly how a woman's mind can be totally transformed by being on the pill (or any other hormonal contraceptive). The thoughts and feelings that crawl on us without any truth to it is mesmerizing - and to think that a FDA approved birth control pill is the cause is beyond scary.

Hello!
My name is Iulia and I want to start out by pointing out that I am a resident doctor in psychiatry, so you can understand that not even a doctor can figure out what he/she going through, and even less with what his/her patients are going through.

I started taking oral contraceptives in 2002 or 2003, can`t exactly remember the year (all I remember is that I was not a med student back then). I started oral contraceptives because my menstrual period was not at all regular (I got my first period when I was in 3rd or 4th grade!!!), mostly based on my low-grade obesity; once I lost about 20kg and got my weight in normal range, everything became ok: my periods were like clockwork!

My OBYG recommended taking Lo-Femenal. I took those for about 2 years and had absolutely no problems while on it - but suddenly my menstruation transformed itself from being a red-colored one, into a greyish color. Kind of spooky and I stopped them. 

In 2006 I had an abortion (was not on the pill at the time) due to a broken condom and decided to go on the pill again. I developed obsessive ideas about being pregnant. I did 2 pregnancy tests every week just to make sure even though I had no sexual contact at all. Looking back now, I know it was PTSD. After three months I was fully recovered from the mental agony of the abortion. 

Picture taken from here

In January 2007 I started Yasmin and since then, hell broke loose step by step. All of my symptoms on Yasmin started gradually, so I never thought that Yasmin might be the cause of them. First of all was my libido: I was always keen on sex and suddenly all of that just vanished. "Ok" I thought to myself, maybe it is something temporary, I'll just wait (I waited for 5 years and nothing); luckily I have a boyfriend (now fiancee and soon husband) that understands somewhat what I was and am going through.

Second to that, maybe one year after, the mood changes started. First, it was not that bad, I was a little bit more depressed, cried easily and one week before my menstruation I was very irritable. But I managed keeping all the symptoms under control. About one year after that (2008), the paraesthesias started: on my face, my arms, I had the pinky of my right hand numb for 2 weeks non-stop, when I walked my legs became numb very quickly, I had cramps in my lower legs. I blamed all that to the lack of exercise (I have always been lazy when it came to physical exercise). 

As time went on, my boyfriend became more depressed about me not wanting any sexual activity whatsoever, one time I even called him a pervert when he tried to get me aroused, so I tried to explain to him that he is not the cause of my lack of libido, it is just that I do not feel the need for sex. Not at all. I tried having intercourse again, but that only happened maybe once every two months L and only because I knew he needed it. He started telling me that he wants his old Iulia back, that made me feel really guilty, but still no sexual desire. I tried, again, to explain that something is happening to me, I didn’t know what, but that he should be patient until I get my things straightened out. I would like to point out that he loves me A LOT and he has been supportive through this nasty experience all the way. 

Next I started to become jealous on every girl that talked to him. Every time he went out I started thinking that maybe he is going out with another woman, and I was very suspicious. But it passed away rather quickly.

Picture taken from here

2010: my boyfriend proposed! But, I felt nothing. He planned a trip to Budapest (he knew how badly I wanted to go to Budapest) and proposed there, but I was like: "Ok." What girl thinks that??? One should be happy when that happens, but I was very indifferent to that. When that happened I knew something was not quite right.

January 2012: had my first panic attack (basically when you have a panic attack, there are 3 types of thoughts going through your mind: you`re going to lose control, you`re going to die or that you are going insane) and since then I developed an obsession about going crazy; being a young psychiatrist, I researched every possible mental illness I could have, but deep inside I felt that it was somewhat connected to the pill.

In February 2012: I started having obsessive ideas about having cancer; CRUEL ideas, but I managed to keep them under some sort of control. A few months later, in May 2012: I had a bad case of diarrhea, with dehydration and started having a permanent state of panic and panic attacks; I blamed it all on dehydration and rapid heartbeats. While in a panic attack, I thought that my mother-in-law was planning to poison me and that became the source of my anxiety. I knew my thoughts are not normal, so I excluded the possibility of developing a delusional disorder or psychosis, but when the anxiety kicked back in, all my thoughts came back and I was back where I started: having cancer, my mother-in-law wanting to kill me and going crazy and ending up in an asylum…

Drawing taken from here

August 2012: extreme irritability and depression started; my anxiety was on a level of 9 out of 10, but only 2 weeks before my period; after my period I was back to somewhat normal. That continued for three months and in October I felt like I had no good days anymore. I started taking natural tranquilizers which have helped me a little bit and finally decided to stop the pill!!! I took my last pill on October 26, had my period and never went back on it again. Shortly after I went to see my coordinator (he is an old psychiatry professor) and I told him about what I was going through and told me THAT HAPPENS ON THE PILL!!

He also said that most of my symptoms are related to a deficiency in Magnesium, Zinc and Vitamin B6 so I started taking magnesium and b6 complex and it all feels right again. I can`t say all of my days are good, sometimes my anxiety kicks back, but at a more bearable intensity. But I have only been off the pill for 3 weeks now but it has made a huge impact in how I feel already.

~ Iulia

Romania